twenty four lines to make you smile

A good friend sent this to me today; she’s knows there’s only a few more sleeps until the big events I organise are on.  Now it takes a lot to get my attention on anything else but the events at the moment so that fact that these made me smile… alot… amde them worthy to put on the blog.  Enjoy

  1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.  He thought he was god; I didn’t
  2. I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it
  3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them
  4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
  5. Don’t take life too seriously; no one gets out alive
  6. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me
  7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
  8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe
  9. I’m not a complete idiot – some parts are missing
  10. Out of my mind…back in 5 minutes
  11. God must love stupid people; he made so many
  12. The gene pool could use a little chlorine
  13. Consciousness; that annoying time between naps
  14. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
  15. Wrinkled was NOT one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up
  16. A hangover is the wrath of grapes
  17. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
  18. Stupidity is not a handicap; park somewhere else
  19. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
  20. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD
  21. A picture may be worth a thousand words but it takes up three thousand times the memory
  22. Ham and Eggs….A day’s work for the chicken but a lifetime commitment for the pig
  23. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson (that ones for Whale Oil and Oswald)

Only a couple more sleeps until I can completely dedicate myself to making sure it’s a National Landslide.

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